Respect for Authority

Our lesson this week in our parenting class is on respect for authority. The book says that as parents, we are our kids' first governing authority, and we have to show them (explicitly - in word and in deed) how to respect us - and by respecting us, they are honoring God, and they learn to respect all forms of authority. I've had so many conversations with my friends about why it seems like we respected our parents so much more than our kids respect us. Hours worth of "I would never have..." followed by all the many things that our kids say and do to us that we wouldn't have dared to do to our parents. One thing that really struck me during the reading for this week is this: as in anything, our kids learn more by our example than by our words. How do we treat figures of authority in our own lives? What is our attitude toward authority at work, in the community, in our family? Do we complain about our bosses? The president? The speed limit? Their grandparents? How do we treat our spouse? How do we treat the people who work at the grocery store, the Rec center, McDonald's, the library? Do we use polite language with them? Do we complain about the way they do their jobs? Do we treat their place of work with honor and respect? Maybe the reason we don't see respect from our kids is that we have a problem showing it ourselves. The example they used in the book was a gum wrapper. Do you let it drop to the ground or toss it out the window of the car? If you do, you're showing your kids that you don't respect the laws against littering - at least, not when no one's looking, or when it's inconvenient. Little stuff like that has big implications for a child. What about television? I know I let my kids watch shows that are blatantly anti-authority. By letting them watch those shows, aren't I really endorsing the attitudes they're portraying? If I let them watch I-Carly, and Sam gets a laugh every time she says something disrespectful (which is nearly every time she says anything), aren't I saying that I think it's funny too? Or, at the very least, normal, expected, tolerable? And what do I do when I'm treated disrespectfully? Do I treat disrespect from my kids as a serious offense, or do I brush it off as "normal" childish behavior? One thing I'm trying very hard to implement around here is that when I ask a question or request help with something, the kids need to respond the FIRST time, and I need to hear, not "okay," or "sure," or "do I have to," but "yes, mom." If I were really good, I'd be asking for a "yes, ma'am," but we're taking baby steps. I guess the main message I got from this week is that it is our responsibility to actively teach our kids how to treat authority, and how they treat authority is a direct reflection of how well we taught them...and how they respond to authority has a far-reaching effect on their success in the spiritual and natural worlds. Yikes. I'd better go and delete I-Carly from our Netflix instant queue, huh?