Feeding the Baby

I was going to call this post "breastfeeding," but I didn't want to scare people (like my dad, who may want to avoid reading this post anyway).
Every baby is a new experience, and I've learned the following things from baby Phil these last three weeks:

1. I cannot nurse the baby and knit at the same time. I have tried my hardest, but it's just not possible. Maybe there's room for an invention here...some kind of hands-free knitting device that you can rest on the baby's head?
2. Asking, "Phil, do you have a poopy diaper?" will probably continue to make me giggle until the poor kid is potty-trained. I'm not sure if this is a pro or a con of naming your child after his grandpa. 
3. Babies can pee on you and you don't even know it. Either they're in your lap and you suddenly feel pleasantly warm, or you're changing them and then your face and the walls and the floor are being sprinkled on. Comprehending that it's pee takes a few seconds, even after the 20th time. During those few seconds, the experience is actually kind of nice. Who doesn't like a warm lap?
4. Car seats are a pain. A large, unwieldy, spit-up covered, impossible to latch into the stupid base part, life-saving pain.
5. I can nurse the baby and use the bathroom at the same time. Strangely, this has been necessary more than once already.
6. Babies are not good at keeping their feet in the proper leg holes of their pajamas. Both legs get stuck in the same one, and then they squirm and make it impossible to figure out how to get the snaps together in the right order. All baby clothes should have zippers, not snaps. Or babies should be born with enough fur to just remain naked all the time. Hello, evolution? Where are you when I need you? 
7. I can also check Facebook while nursing the baby, while simultaneously watching Parks and Recreation on Netflix (4 seasons in just 3 weeks). 
8. Esme and Grace will be great mommies someday, as long as they eventually figure out the difference between patting the baby gently and smacking him.
9. When it's the middle of the night and you're somewhat sleep-deprived, having a newborn baby stare at you can be very unsettling. You start thinking that he's going to start talking or read your mind or steal your soul (depending on your level of sleep deprivation).
10. Baby diapers are way better than toddler diapers. To avoid changing toddler diapers, wait for the toddler to poop, then announce to your husband that you have to go change the baby's diaper for the 50th time today, thereby guilting him into changing the nasty toddler diaper. I've almost got Grace trained to poop during John's lunch hour. Genius.